I miss him so much.

everythingsdead-inside:

I can’t do this. I’m always with these happy couples and it just makes me feel like shit. I want him back, no I need him back. I don’t think he realizes how much I love him and how much he means to me. I love him so much. he was the one thing that made me happy.

Anonymous said: 23 25 and 30 :3

23:Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
YES OH MY GOD. Words can not describe what I would give to go back to January. I would be so much better. I wouldn’t be sad all the time over the past. I would give anything just to have him love me again.

25:In the past week, have you cried? I’m crying right now. Ha.

30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
I honestly don’t even want to think about that. The thought makes me want to die. I can’t even tell you how much that would kill me.

happynvrafter said: you're beautiful. never forget that :) i love you girly. you're truly an amazing friend.

You too, Dianne. Love you.

Anonymous said: 6,12,54,82

6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
I guess it depends. I would want it to be Blake. I know he would protect me.

12: Do you like hickys?
Yess

54:Did you get any compliments today?
Quite a few.

82: Are you ready for the autumn weather?
It’s my favorite! Yess please!

Anonymous said: 1,25,34,48,52...go!

1: why am I confused: because I’m an idiot and I make up things in my head that will never happen.

25: In the past week, have you cried?
I’ve cry myself to sleep every night. And I’ve cried today. Ha.

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
Well today is his birthday and he just turned 17 (:

48: did you ever lose a Bestfriend?
Yes..

52: Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
Every day.

Anonymous said: not trying to be mean or rude,im truly curious: if this boy treats you bad and makes you cry and if you know that he's no good, why stay? i get that you love him and all, but when are you going to do whats best for you?i mean there must be someone else who wants to be with you, and maybe they're better than this jerk who plays with you feelings. just my opinion, i';ve been where you are and trust me walking away was hard,but it payed off.look around there might be someone right in front of you.

But that’s the thing, he’s not good. He is far from good. He suppresses the word good. He is so perfect and wonderful and I love him more then life. It’s not just that I want to stay, it’s a physical and mental need. I am so in love with him it’s overwhelming. There are other people that want me, and they are wonderful people, but the thing is.. I’m never going to move on. Nothing in this world will ever make me stop loving this boy. I will fight for him forever. And one day we will have our happy ever after. I mean all fairy tales have the hard parts right? These past 2 mouths have been our hard parts. But we will rise above them and come out stronger then ever. Watch. (:

I want to sit on the bathroom floor with a fistful of razors, slashing open my arm, piece by piece. I want to watch the blood pump out and not give a care about the mess. I want that light-headed, nauseated feeling I get when I lose a lot of blood. I want the aches and pains of the wounds to accompany in the days after. I deserve this.

(Source: suicidal-te3n, via longsleevesandbrokendreams)